• Ron

Why do You Have Trouble Asking For Help?


Life is a struggle for many people. That is the tie that binds us together because we are all up against something from time to time. Most will doubt their sanity from time to time. But the good news is that it is a fact that only sane people question their sanity. Only insane people are sure of theirs.


Asking for help is difficult for many. There is something in asking for help that makes us feel like we are failures for having to do so. We continue to struggle rather than hurt our pride by reaching out to others. Yet ironically, when friends and family ask us for help, we usually feel honored to be asked.


The now-canceled ABC series 'Men in Trees' once had an inspiring episode with a good lesson. It was a legend about a mother who gave her son a particular task. There was a massive rock in the middle of the river, and she asked him to move the rock out using ALL of his strength. He tried and tried but could not do it by himself. Finally, he gave up and asked his mother to help him, and together they moved the rock out of the river.


The boy was very disappointed in himself because he had failed the task. Then his mother told him she was proud of him because sometimes using ALL your strength means asking for help. He had passed the test.


Reaching out to others for help is difficult at the best of times because we do not want to inconvenience or trouble other people. But the reality is that most people feel special when they are trusted enough to be let into our world of struggles and difficulty. That's the beautiful thing about family and close friends; through the years, we usually take turns carrying each other's load.


Talking to someone about your troubles can begin the healing process even if there seems to be no immediate solution. You've heard it said; a problem shared equals a problem half solved.'


The only thing worse than asking for help is not asking for help and then resenting our friends and loved ones for not being mind readers and knowing that we are struggling inside. People will only know what is going on in your head and heart if you open up and talk to them about it.


No matter what you are struggling with at this very moment, there is always someone safe to talk to. Sometimes it's our family and friends. Sometimes it's a counselor, a support group, or a medical professional like a nurse or doctor. It all starts with asking for help. Asking for help does not reveal we are weak, but rather it proves our strength.


It is easy to isolate ourselves from others when we do not share our burdens. The Bible says, "Whoever isolates himself seeks his desire; they defy all sound judgment." (Proverbs 18:1)


We all need a little help to sort things out at times. And when someone does ask us for help, we need to be honest with them about how we see things. They say to be completely balanced, everyone needs at least one person in their life who will be completely honest with them. It is hard to own our shortcomings, but everybody has them. Advice is such a funny thing. When we give it to others, it's advice, but when others give it to us, it's often seen as interference.


Having a certain kind of pride is a good thing. But having too much pride will cost you a lot of relationships in the long run. Needing other people is what makes us human. So, if you feel down or you've isolated yourself, reach out to someone in your corner of the world. I believe the support and understanding you need are there for the asking. No one ever needs to be alone in their struggles.


Jesus said He would never leave or forsake us. I believe He always has someone close by to help you in your time of trouble.


Blessed are they who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.

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