Studies reveal that the most prevalent place where anger occurs today is in the home between husband and wife. One of the reasons is that opposites attract, and the other reason is that no one is perfect.
I remember Paul Harvey years ago reported that there were two small towns in Illinois. One is called Normal, Illinois and the other is called Oblong, Illinois. Evidently, there was a wedding between two residents and the newspaper headline said, “Normal man marries Oblong woman.”
There was a letter to Dear Abby: “I’m 44 years old and I would like to meet a man my age with no bad habits.” Signed Rose. Abby wrote back, “Dear Rose, so would I.”
One of the things that fear produces is anger. So often we don’t know how to deal with either of these. So, “How Do You Handle Anger?” In your home, at your workplace, in any relationship, or where ever it pops up.
In any relationship that you have, conflict is inevitable. You’re going to have conflict because human beings disagree. Conflict in your home is inevitable but combat is not. You must learn how to disagree without being disagreeable. You’ve got to learn how to argue without assassinating a character. In every relationship, when you have a conflict, you will either have a breakdown or a breakthrough. The relationship will either be destroyed or damaged because of the conflict and there will be a breakdown in communication. Often there will be a breakthrough to a new level of maturity and intimacy and fellowship. The key is how you handle your anger.
The Bible says in Proverbs 11:29 that mishandled anger can cause enormous damage in relationships. (Living Bible) “The fool who provokes his family to anger and resentment will finally have nothing left.”
More marriages and more families are destroyed by anger than anything else. When it comes to dealing with conflict everybody today falls into one of two camps. You either tend to be a passive person or you tend to be an aggressive person. When it comes to anger and conflict you either resist or you have a tendency to run. You’re a resistor or runner. You have a tendency to either fight or you have a tendency to flee when conflict happens. In most relationships, one person tends toward being violent and the other person tends toward being silent. I like to say when God puts couples together He puts skunks and turtles in the same family. Leave that last sentence here. It is only for you.
Some of you are skunks (used only as an example). With a skunk you know exactly where they stand. They let you know. And when they’re upset they don’t mind stinking up the whole place. They spew. Everybody knows how they feel.
On the other hand, some of you are turtles. When conflict comes you pull back into your shell. You withdraw. You become distant. You back out of the relationship.
God loves variety. Is there any alternative? Yes, there is. At every point in your life, you are always moving in one of three directions. You’re always moving against people in anger, away from people in fear, or you are moving with people in love. There are only three ways to move in life. The idea in anger control is not to eliminate anger because you can’t, but learn how to express anger in appropriate ways, in ways that benefit you and benefit the other person.
It is absolutely essential for a healthy marriage. It is absolutely essential for a strong family — to learn to deal with how you feel. So we must learn how to handle anger.
Anne and I are exact opposites in every single way except our commitment to the Lord. We are at opposite ends of the pole when you look at personality, actions, and reactions. Therefore, we had to work out how we would deal with anger when it shows up.
It is vital, especially in a marriage that you communicate and work out together how you will handle anger when it rears its ugly head. This is something you have to do together so I will leave it to you to work on and work out.