SEVEN PEOPLE YOU CANNOT HELP…

The room was full of  pregnant women with their partners. The lamaze class was in full swing.

The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurance to their partners at this stage of their pregnancy.

She said, “ladies, remember that exercise is good for you .  Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier.”  She then looked at the men in the room and said, “gentleman, remember, you are in this together. It would not hurt you to go walking with her.” The room suddenly got very quite as the men absorbed this information. Then a man in the back of the room slowly raised his hand. Yes, answered the teacher. I was just wondering is it alright if she carry’s my golf clubs while we are walking?

The moral of this story is… You can’t help passionate golfers they are hopeless.

One of the greatest joys I experience in my vocation is watching people receive instruction, to change and grow spiritually.

Equally one of my biggest frustrations is observing people with talent, skill, potential, great gifting, and a great future and they refuse to make progress.

I would like to believe that everyone can be helped, but statistics as well as my experience reveals that everybody doesn’t want help.

To receive help that will bring about a change in your life and cause you to be a person of character, in conversation and conduct——- causing you to be fruitful and productive in life, means a price must be paid. NOT EVERYONE IS WILLING TO PAY.

Many years ago I preached a sermon on: DO YOU WANT HELP OR RELIEF.

RELIEF is temporarily having the symptoms removed so that I can function for the moment. HELP deals with the roots that are causing the symptoms.

To receive help – even God’s help – you’ve got to qualify yourself. EVERYONE CAN QUALIFY. I am not talking about earning something by good works. I am talking about receiving something by faith. How does that work? Well, “faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the Word of God (Rom. 10:17).

John 13:17 Jesus said, “Now that you know these things, you will be blessed it you do them.”

So to help people—there first, must be qualification.

  1. I must acknowledge I need help.
  2. I must acknowledge I can’t help myself.
  3. I must be willing to listen to godly instruction and follow it.

The Blacksmith Saga! – A young man walks into blacksmith shop where the blacksmith was beating a hot horseshoe on the anvil. He lays it aside and they begin to talk in a few minutes the young man picks up the horseshoe and quickly drops it. The blacksmith said, “It’s hot isn’t it?” No!, replied the young man. It just doesn’t take me long to look at a horseshoe.

If you cannot acknowledge you are wrong, you cannot get help.

The qualification is to then acknowledge I need HELP.

Let me just say something, not planned. It is not your responsibility to FIX people, or to try and make your people happy. (spouse, children, parents)

 SOME CHARACTERSTIC OF SOME PEOPLE YOU CANNOT HELP:

  1. YOU CANNOT HELP PEOPLE WHO REFUSE TO DISCONNECT THEMSELVES FROM THE WRONG PEOPLE.

 These are people who say they want your help—-they say they want to succeed— but refuse to separate from the people contributing to their problem.

They stay linked up with people in business who are shady and cut corners.

They stay in a relationship with a:

  1. Person who will not work,
  2. Be on time,
  3. Keep their word or
  4. Finish a project.
  5. Lies
  6. Steals

I Corinthians 15:33 “Do not be deceived; bad company corrupts good morals/character.”

 Psalm 1:1 Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of the mockers.”

Who you are connected to will either empower or weaken your life.

  • Joshua was connected to Moses and was empowered.
  • Sampson was connected to Delilah and he was weakened.

So whoever you are connected to—– will either weaken or empower your life.

Where there is weakness (or leakage) in your life—-check the connections!!!

 

You can’t stay connected to wrong people and expect right results. God will not direct you or connect you to a fool.

When Jonah ran from the Lord + got in a boat—God sent a storm that threatened the ship. When the sailors threw Jonah overboard— THE STORM STOPPED!

 Some of you need to throw some associations overboard + the storm in your life would stop.

  1. YOU CANNOT HELP SOMEONE WHO HAS NO RESPECT FOR PROVEN ACHIEVERS AND ACHIEVEMENT.

Proverbs 13:20 “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.”

 Proverbs 26:16 “The sluggard is wiser in his own eyes than seven men who answer discreetly.”

This is a TRUISM: You will not attract what you do not value and respect. If you do not value achievement or respect achievers you will not attract them into your life.

 “BIRDS OF A FEATURE FLOCK TOGETHER”

SO, is your mentor a proven achiever??? Everybody doesn’t achieve on the same level, but everybody should be an achiever. There should be fruit for your labor.

 Hang around wise people, read good books, listen to good tapes. Don’t spend all your time trying to tell the proven achiever what you are going to do. He could care less. Listen for truth nuggets. SHUT UP AND TAKE NOTES…

I discovered long ago, that I would not invest in people who always are making STATEMENTS AND DECLARATIONS, GIVING THEIR OPINIONS, but never asking QUESTIONS.

If you can’t see that the person you are looking to as a mentor is a proven achiever and qualified to help you, and you will not listen to or value their wisdom. You will not receive HELP from them.

Many saw Jesus only as Joseph’s boy and therefore could not see or receive from HIM.   THEY MISSED THEIR DAY OF VISITATION..

  1. YOU CANNOT HELP ANYONE WHO WANTS ALL THAT YOU HAVE EXCEPT YOUR ADVICE AND COUNSEL…

Isaiah 4:1 “In that day seven women will take hold of one man and say, “We will eat our own food and provide our own clothes; only let us be called by your name (name, influence). Take away our disgrace!”

Some people want what you possess like (money, opportunities, influence, name, reputation), but not what is in your heart and mind.

Solomon’s son Rehoboam wanted his father’s kingdom—but not his father’s best advisors advice. He took the wrong advice and split the kingdom. What a fool.

Not everyone wants your wisdom or advice. They want to compare what they are doing with what you doing —-and hope to prove they can accomplish what you did —without you or anyone else’s help.

THEY ARE TIME WASTERS—– Whether it’s about money, marriage, children, business or church ministry—they only want at the least RELIEF (no help or change) and at the most they want RECOGNITION (tell them how great they are). I refuse to invest in these people. Many instructors invest 80% of their time with the few people who will not listen and learn.

Mark 10 Rich Young Ruler wanted what Jesus offered—but didn’t want His advice or counsel.   He went away sad and sorrowful.

  1. YOU CAN’T HELP SOMEONE WHO THINKS THAT YOU ARE THE CAUSE OF THEIR PROBLEMS…

 Genesis 3:12-13  The man said, “The woman you gave me – she gave me some fruit from the tree and I ate it.”

Job had to repent because he thought God was his problem. He couldn’t see that God was the one who believed in him and was giving him an opportunity to SHINE.

WE SEE THIS A LOT IN MARRIAGES AND FAMILIES— as long as YOU THINK IT IS YOUR SPOUSE, or YOUR PARENTS, that are the CAUSE of your problems—they can’t help you.

Illustration– Doc, My knee is hurting, my ankle is killing me and I have a pain in my elbow. Doc examines him and said, “the problem is you have a Broken finger.”

  1. YOU CANNOT HELP SOMEONE WHO HAS NOT BEEN BROKEN AND TASTED THE PAIN OF FAILURE OR BEING WRONG OR WRONGED.

When the prodigal son took his inheritance and left home + wasted it—the father did not chase him. The father had to allow the son to go through the process of brokenness   He had to allow him to hit the bottom. (THE PIG PEN).

Some people try to protect others (children)(bail them out) from experiencing this pain.

And after the prodigal came to the end of himself in a pig pen—and realized what a fool he’d been—he changed his mind and went home to apologize.

King David wasn’t always open to counsel until he experienced the pain of adultery and murder.

David later wrote, Psalms 119:67 “Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey your word.”

 Psalms 34:18 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Trouble/Pain often comes into our lives when we fail to follow instructions.

The Immature (children) wants the prize of provision but not the pain of the process.

 Growing Up, and Growing Wise will include the pain of being wrong and humbling yourself and acknowledging it.

I am amazed at all I knew and how I often treated people before I experienced pain and failure.

…verse 71 “It is good for me that I have been afflicted that I may learn your statutes.”

  1. YOU CANNOT HELP SOMEONE WHO KNOW ALL THE ANSWERS AND IS UNTEACHABLE:

Proverbs 18:1-2 “He who separates himself seeks his own desire, he quarrels against all sound wisdom. A fool does not delight in understanding, but only in revealing his own mind.”  (but delights in airing his own opinions – NIV)

I can usually tell pretty quickly who is not teachable.

It comes out continually in a conversation in two words or phrases—-

“YES, I KNOW” – means sorry your too late, I already know what you are saying.

 “YES BUT” – means you may be right BUT MY WAY is probably better.

No one has lived long enough to KNOW EVERYTHING. Or to always have the BETTER WAY.

When a person unsolicited tells me more than they ask me—- it usually means I can’t help them.

To get help you have to believe someone may be more credible, more experienced to teach you in some areas.

Example– John was a great painter. But was awful at bidding jobs and bookkeeping. So the best painter in town went broke because he couldn’t see and learn.

You may be a great plumber or electrician or painter, but not know a thing about money or bookkeeping.   KEEP on KEEPING the books and you’ll soon go out of business.

Look, being stuck on what you think is right, when there is evidence that what you are thinking and doing is wrong—is proof that you’re un-teachable.

Having an un-teachable spirit will keep even God from helping you. An un-teachable spirit comes when your mind is made up that you’re going to do what you want to do no matter what. And a teachable spirit comes when you acknowledge you could be wrong.

  1. YOU CANNOT HELP SOMEONE WHO CONTINUES TO SHIFT BLAME, MAKE EXCUSES AND JUSTIFIES EVERYTHING THEY DO:

Luke 14:18 “But they all alike began to make excuses.  The first one said to him, ‘I have bought a piece of land and I need to go out and look at it; please consider me excused.’”

Remember excuses Pastor Rick says, or the crutches of the uncommitted.   It is another way to say, “I don’t want to do what you ask me to do.”

Excuses or fig leaves to cover up an independent, rebellious spirit.

People who want to avoid commitment—always make excuses why they can’t do what you ask them or what God is requiring of them.

Secondly people who BLAMD OTHERS, JUSTIFY THEMSELVES or MAKE EXCUSES why they CAN’T…

They have SET IT UP to make them COMFORTABLE or to LOOK GOOD,   They will Only DO THINGS they LIKE, or that or EASY or they WANT to DO.

Luke 9 57 SOMEONE SAID TO JESUS, “I WILL FOLLOW YOU NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO!”

‘I WILL FOLLOW YOU BUT LET ME FIRST…. Bury my father….

“I WILL FOLLOW YOU BUT LET ME FIRST…..Say goodbye to my family…

Commitment to a task means part of you has to die, And we don’t like that —- SO WE MAKE EXCUSES.

Vs. 58-59 Jesus quickly realized that this man was not committed. Excuses are a signs of the uncommitted. It reveals their heart.   This guy has already said, “I WILL FOLLOW YOU WHEREVER YOU GO!” And when Jesus made a demand on that commitment —- the guy made an excuse.

Trust me! As long as you make excuses, justify and shift blame you will remain where you are physically, spiritually, financially and every other way.

Conclusion:

I have committed my life helping people. I love helping others. I want to believe you are here today because you want to be helped. YOU WANT HELP AND NOT JUST RELIEF.   You want to grow in every area of your life. O.K. You must allow the Lord to speak to you about any of these things dealt with today and make a choice to change (repent-turn around).

Maybe even now the Lord has already revealed some areas and you or convicted. These things are not to condemn you but rather allow the Lord to convict us.

Conviction is good. It can lead to change and change leads to victory, success, blessings and prosperity.

If the Lord has spoken to you about any of these things that you recognize in your life or that you are susceptible to. Get up and come now and let’s commit to a change.

Some need to make a decision and commitment today.

Some need to start something

Some need to stop something

Others need to make adjustments:

In your thinking, attitude or actions.

Some need to begin by taking the first step toward help. That is believing and trusting Christ as your Savior. There is NO BETTER WAY…There is NO OTHER WAY…There is only THE WAY….”I am the way, the truth and the life..”.

Some have RUN AWAY and had it YOUR WAY and not it is time to RETURN.

Hosea 6:1-3 “Come let us return to the Lord, He has torn us in pieces, now he will heal us.

WANT HELP- admit you need it (recognition is not enough)(only the beginning). This involves humility. It deals a death blow to PRIDE.

Then you have to take ACTION TO ASSOCIATE WITH (A People. A Place, A Person of God’s chosing.

About Ron

Ron and Anne founded the first Christian Fellowship Church in Harlingen, Texas in 1982. Ron presently serves as its apostolic overseer. He travels nationally and internationally motivating and challenging people to be effective in their call and ministry to their local church, their community, and the marketplace.

Add a Facebook Comment

Speak Your Mind

*

%d bloggers like this: