We have been talking about Being Authentic. If you remember I mentioned some things that will keep us from being authentic and enjoying close relationships. Today let’s talk about the fear of being hurt.
Everyone has experienced hurt at some time or another in his or her life. But the fear of being hurt again keeps us from being authentic. The truth is you will be hurt in life many, many times. Remember, this is not heaven. This is earth where people hurt and get hurt. And the reality is you are going to be hurt over and over again. I realize this is not a pleasant thought.
The more important issue is what do you do with that hurt? If you hold on to that hurt, it’s going to strangle the life, love and energy out of you. If you hold on to your hurt it will cause your heart to become cold, insensitive and hard. You have got to learn to deal with hurt so you can get on with your life.
There is a sad process that goes like this. I have seen it over and over. The more you have been hurt, the more you become afraid of being hurt again. And the more you are afraid of being hurt again the more defensive and protective you become. And the more defensive and protective you become the more inauthentic a person you become.
We develop these self-protective habits and then say I am not letting anybody get close to me ever again. You may be popular, you may be funny, you may be the life of the party, but nobody is going to get close to me ever again. So you avoid situations that could leave you vulnerable. Like being in a small group. I am not getting that close to anybody. No way. It scares me to death. You build defensive walls around your heart that nobody can get through. And you actually push people away by all kinds of different behavior. [Continue reading]