The Top 10 List for Handling Criticism…

03/31/2010 in Featured 1 Comment

1. See it as a stepping-stone.
As Jim Rohn always said, “The only way to get more in life is to become more.” We all experience criticism. The more we achieve, the more we get. Take a positive view of criticism and allow it to take you to the next level.

2. Recognize the potential of truth.
There is either at least a hint of truth or the potential of truth in every criticism. If you haven’t done what you are being criticized for, at least take it as a warning sign. Be honest with yourself and recognize that you do possess the potential to do whatever you are being criticized for.

3. Separate the critic from the criticism.
A major key in making the criticism profitable is “don’t lend credibility to the critic.” We often think in an “all or nothing” structure. It doesn’t mean that the critic is credible or well intentioned. Chances are, they are not well intentioned. However, don’t go through the pain without determining to get the gain.

4. Recognize the opportunity for major personal growth.
Criticisms hurt badly. If you decide that you are going to allow yourself to be more mature, then start looking for the good that can come out of it. Challenge yourself to discover how the criticism is going to help you achieve more and become more. Let your character go to a whole new level.

5. Forgive the critic right away.
Forgiving someone does not mean that you can’t learn a valuable lesson. If it is a betrayal, you will learn to be more sparing in your words to the person who has betrayed you. Nonetheless, for yourself, go ahead and forgive them. They really do not know what they are doing. It is out of a serious sense of lack and inferiority that anyone would choose to attack or criticize another.

6. Don’t dwell on the criticism.
We replay unpleasant events over and over again. I think that it is bad enough to have to go through something once, much less hitting rewind (in our own minds) and playing it over and over again. Learn the lesson, forgive the critic and choose to get over it. Don’t torture yourself with it.

7. Consider journaling what you’ve learned.
If you don’t keep a journal, now is a good time to start. Write it down. You’re not going to keep tabs on “who did you wrong.” You are going to record what you learned from it. Take the class once and determine that you are going to score well in the lesson learned. Journaling is an awesome way of processing anything and everything that happens in your life.

8. Learn the lesson thoroughly.
Everything that happens to us can and will be used in achieving our own success. Though we love to get out of the situation quickly, it is far better to learn the lesson thoroughly than quickly. If you follow these ten rules for handling criticism, you will learn the lesson both quickly and thoroughly. What good is it to keep repeating the same behavior over and over? Commit yourself to handling this situation in a more mature way than you did the last one.

9. Talk about it as little as possible.
This is the one thing that we have a natural tendency to do that almost always makes us appear guiltier and feel worse than we may already be. Even if you’re not at all guilty of the criticism, talk about it as little as possible. If you honestly need to deny it to others, do it once and then forget about it. We want to sell our innocence. If you’re innocent, let providence be your judge and your vindicator.

10. Evaluate your progress.
Each time you go through a situation where you encounter criticism, you should see recognizable growth in your ability to handle it and process it. If you aren’t handling criticism better today than you were 3-5 years ago, you are not living consciously regarding your personal growth. Live consciously. Know when you have gone to a new level of maturity in handling criticism. Enjoy and celebrate your personal progress and growth.

Submitted by my friend Michael Murphy, B.A. in Theology; M.A. Pastoral Psychology